Usually when I’m feeling uncomfortable in a situation I ask myself:
What’s the worst that could happen?
Think about that question in terms of recovery from an eating disorder.
The worst that could happen is being “fat”. That’s often our biggest fear, our number one reason we struggle to fully commit. Deep inside, we are terribly afraid of being overweight (or at least overweight in our minds).
When you have an eating disorder, the fear of fat is 100% justifiable. I’ve been there. I’ve been afraid. I get it.
But let’s stop and put it into perspective.
Some situations you find yourself in have consequences like hurting other people, ruining opportunities, or permanently changing you. Some situations could even be life or death. And some are just plain out of your control.
Take losing your job for example. Suddenly you have to find a way to pay the bills and your rent so you aren’t evicted. You have to be able to afford food so you can survive. On top of that, you have to search endlessly for a new job and deal with the additional stress. Every day you struggle just to make it to the next.
Now being fat doesn’t seem so scary right?
Because when you step outside of your eating disordered mind, you realize that your fear is completely irrational. So what if you’re overweight? Who really cares?
The people who are worth anything in your life don’t love you or care about you because you wear a size zero. They don’t choose to be with you because you have a thigh gap. No. People love you because of what is inside of you, as cliche as that sounds. They love you because of your laugh, because of how you make them feel, because of your compassion. They love you because of what makes you YOU.
So the worst case scenario of recovery isn’t really a worst case at all.
Our eating disorders tell us it is, but it’s not.
Because if the worst thing that could happen to you right now, if your biggest fear is being “fat”, then you have a hell of a lot to be grateful for. You have a hell of a lot to live for and to thank God for. Don’t let your eating disorder take that from you. Don’t let the fear stop you from the life you should be living. The life you can only live at a healthy weight. The life you can have if you’re “fat” but not if you’re starving. Choose that life.